well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
