Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize