yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
