girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
