She said her name was "party"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize