Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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