You're completely useless in the revolution.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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