I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
