took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
