I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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