The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
