Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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