hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize