My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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