how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
