and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
