What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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