Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
