So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
last night I used snow as a chaser
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
