He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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