I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
