So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
