i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is it because I queefed?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
