so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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