Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
