is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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