Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
