No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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