he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize