god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
