She said her name was "party"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
