Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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