Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
