i barfeds in our rink
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
