im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
