People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
