Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
