My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
