It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
