wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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