I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
