I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
