she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
