ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This girl is more easily done than said...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
