I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
