no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
