yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize