I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
