she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
