no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
