onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
