so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Did I show you my penis last night?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
