I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
