Nicole vs. Life
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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