god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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