I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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