It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
