he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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