Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize