do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
