a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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